The Radio Is My Only Friend Today

What A Fucking Twist

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:56:26 GMT

Life is full of them.

You think you found him. You didn't!

Where is Brendon?

Hello... May Flowers

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 01:37:20 GMT

Hello self.
I'm at work again after a really really long night and day yesterday. I'm really upset that we ran out of PB and J at work... I don't know what I am going to eat for dinner, it scares me. I had PB and J this morning for breakfast but I threw it up like 20 min later, so I am going on an empty stomach. Gurggle Gurggle.
Aprils music video is up if you get bored

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hI3mNZbOu0o"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hI3mNZbOu0o" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

update again

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:38:20 GMT

so its been a while again. I have been neglecting my journal and thats not nice. I'm jaimis room and im hungry. waiting for travis to come over, for travis to make me dinner. Its soo cold. I am trying to warm myself up. They are watching ANTM in the other room, im too cold to get out of bed. Hmm

its thursday again. well pretty much. holy fuck how does this happen. I want quesadillas. but italian will do.

food, heat, love come to me.

hello 21

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 13:09:16 GMT

What a week it has been. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday week, I had a blast and it's going to pick back up and shift gears tonight.
midnight jenlee turns 21 and we are going to do the crawl, I'm not gonna lie I believe within the past 6 days I have turned into a prude and kind of dislike to RP/SR/Cotati bar scene. I need to take jen to SF.

Todays shift is the last day I work for the week. Tomorrow will be jens actual birthday, tuesday I have class all day, wednesday I have class and Im sleeping in the city, thursday I have class all day and I am picking jeanette up from the airport that evening. Thursday night we are going to club seven to have my first legal drink together. Friday morning we leave for reno to party hard St.Pattys day style.

i miss my sister and im really looking forward to seeing her alone this weekend without the wicked witch.

its 6am i gotta go finish up my hair.

xoxo

Dark Streets, Dark Like A Dream

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 21:45:53 GMT

So it's Saturday again. Oh how fast these weeks are going. I went to the 21st annual WonderCon yesterday at the Moscone Center downtown, and I'm not going to lie or try to make myself sound less dorky but I really enjoyed myself and had a good time looking at all the neat comic book/art stuff. I came home and started writing my paper, I am on page 6 and I still have a few more points to cover so I am shooting at like 10 pages, but dude when you enjoy what you're writing out the words just start to pour out.
I am working a back to back today which means I'll be sleeping at the hotel. I'm looking forward to being alone and be able to finish my paper, and hopefully getting a chance to finish Survivor.
My birthday is just around the corner and I want to get my hair done Tuesday, I want to add blond/white highlights to my black hair, I just don't have the money, mother pay for it please.
I need a peppermint mocha right about now. My mom is at Tahoe for the weekend, my sister needs to come home, and I need to sleep more like all the time lol... lame I know but I'm feeling very lazy at the moment.
At the same time I feel artistic and want to go to the craft store and buy some neat paper to make some shit with... hmm
enough random scattered thoughts for now. Ill prolly blog later again at work, because it's oh so boring...

i want this hoodie

Holy Shit

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:04:37 GMT

After the last two days I had... holy shit is all I can say. Hanging out with gabe and the rest of cobra on their bus, getting on their guest list and meeting all the people i did, best feeling ever. Having the late night taco bell run for the starship and playing gamecube... come on now.. what more could you ask for?

over it? march at jens school? being 21 in less than a week?

YOU BET

Get You Out Of Those Clothes

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:09:06 GMT

So it's raining, and pretty hard if I might say so. I enjoy it from in here. Work is going by pretty quickly. I have my book and occasional personal call to keep my company. Also I wanted to thank You for entertaining me for almost 2 hours, I couldn't believe how easily occupied I got, but thank you. I am looking forward to more entertainment next weekend. I can't believe how quickly time is going by.

who knows if Ill even get around to doing the big paper, it scares me because i have never waited this long to do something almost my entire grade rests on.

I watched BAMS unholy union last night for a couple of hours when I couldn't sleep and I am jealous of him and missy, i want that. I want that kind of fun relationship. It made me smile... alot... almost as much as the entertainment you gave me tonight.

I'm almost 21... and I hope that gabby and mines track stay the same... i need it.

I take it all back

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 06:24:33 GMT

After conducting business on AIM tonight with my sister I realized that I take back last nights comment about loving britney spears... because after watching this video I changed my mind, and actually think I like K Fed. Seriously Crack Whore... oh well it was entertaining... besides i heard that back to the future thing before come out of her mouth but the rest, lol ha.

What Happend?

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 07:00:26 GMT

To everything today? First of all what the fuck was that on the oc? Second of all birtney spears shouldn't be aloud to have an umbrella, but you know what I still love her even if she never grows her hair back again. Oprahs oscar show... not that entertaining with the volume down.
I played Killer Queen on hard today when I got home... I got 89% Seriously though... when will I get my 95%? Got any tips>?

I dunno yo but I am about to go brush my teeth, I don't have much to bitch about today.... that is all

good night...

Where Did You Go?

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:39:02 GMT

I can't find you anywhere! I have looked all over the house, everyones room, even the garage and I can't find you :(. Guitar Hero where are You?

A Conversation between us:

Me: You should come over,cause I can tell from your eyes.Why won't you tell me what's really on your mind?
Too much confusion!You need a little more time.So many times now we've been through this before

You: Don't want hurt you,Try not to fuck with your feelings. It's just a matter of trust, for us, for lust.

Me: Can we start over Or should I leave you behind? Give me an answer! But please don't tell me the truth.
What's your solution? You can't make up your mind!This is my answer, you know I wanna leave.

You: Don't say you just wanna go! Don't you know you're on your own?

Me: OK now wait. What?

ah. first thing I have eaten since monday :)

So I've Been Hated, Not Much To Brag About...

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 19:19:04 GMT

Maybe this is just the way things are going to be from now on... to always expect the unexpected.
I woke up this morning at 9. Why? Thank god for silence. My phone has 4 new messages. Monica finally text me back, good to know she is alive.

Lucky Love Date Tuesday gabby... glad to hear it.

Frankie's new myspace pictures... enough to make me think about writing a book. I'm being serious. No one can compare to my family. No one. I don't even know where to begin. I need a writer. Someone to lock themselves in a room with me for a month and just organize all my thoughts. Anyone scribe worthy out there? Because with my sister, my little mishap, and now my brother. I dunno I just do get it. Like set aside from this gay factor my family stands out, but in a good way. i wouldn't change them for the world, but I think that this book would be a best seller, people would read it, from my perspective and finally understand.

I wrote my paper for tierneys this morning and joined the International Special Events Society. I also signed up for Wonder Con 2007 the comic book convention. Again for school, but I'm looking forward to it, I have to write a big paper on it, due on my birthday,,, which is only 2 days after the Wonder Con... so it looks like I'll be locked in my room that weekend writing that damn paper for Lowes class.

I'm not going to the trade show today, I don't have the 60 bucks to get in. I will drive to the city go to class then return to rohnert park to hang out with J and J. I need it.

It's almost my birthday I know what I want... but I won't get it.

Ok I am going to go play Guitar Hero and color mary a pretty picture in return before school.

WTF Happend?

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 06:59:34 GMT

I don't even know where to begin. Today went from odd to odder starting last night at midnight. I just don't understand, but something definitely shifted up there and Saturn and Jupiter switched places or something ( what ever that means)

I mean the text messages and phone calls last night after midnight were all a little weird. I ignored them though. I go to school this morning and class itself just didn't feel right. Then things just went from weird to weirder and not only for me, but for jen too. We can't put into words the way today made us feel but it was definitely out of our element. Like I don't know who I was... or the people I was around.

Eleanor Rigby always comes on at the right time :/

I deleted more numbers out of my phone today... i believe its for the best... and I dunno but I think that myspace as a whole is just getting more pointless the longer I stay off it.

I am just going to go to bed right now, there is no way I could concentrate to get any homework done... ill just set the alarm and get up early, besides tomorrow I've got the trade show in sf, class, and guitar hero with jesse and jen.

I think sleep is the only thing that can fix this feeling. Also I say lots of things I don't mean when I drink, and I pretty much need to get that looked at, because I need to find the cure. And if you read this... I want you to know I'm over the phone call... whether it was you or not.

Also I just wanted to put it out there that I have a wonderful little sister. For some reason she always knows how I am feeling. Her valentines day card hit the spot, and after todays weirdness I came home to a picture she colored for me on my bed... She just knows what I need and when without even speaking... its always been a gift of hers.

and so i say....

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:37:08 GMT

i actually got some sleep... finally around 1 oclock worried sick about her. I am glad to hear that she is safe because realisticly i was freaking out.

i hate the other her. soo much.. but i got a text today that made me smile and made things much better.

class was wonderful today, i made friends with a pirate... he only has one eye its pretty cool.

i really need to learn to type correctly... because my pinky hurts often from holding it up all the time.

katies guitar hero is weird... but not in a bad way, just different. nothing is wrong with being different.

i love my brother because he can straighten my hair

congrats to lucky love date tuesday

:]

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 06:09:52 GMT

nothing makes me smile more than these things... DJDG/Ohio/ipod/Chuck Palahniuk/SLVR

sorry you had to leave early jeanette. i love you. be safe PLEASE

My Imaginations Much Worse...

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:14:56 GMT

So... home from dinner and oh how much I would like to pass you an entire plate of sour cream just to see you stop breathing. " steph you have something on your face, oh my bad thats just acne" " on "you" you have something on your eye.... oh my bad thats just your black eye"

the shit you pulled today was un forgivable. a trip to taco bell has never taken 3 hours especially when we live down the street. You're a whore. A cheater and I know where you were... I know you just tried to ruin her day. You win. But guess what soon enough the tables will be turned on you... and i'll get the last laugh.

its sad because i usually never get this worked up, or this negative, but when you fuck with someone i love... you'll pay for it. so watch out... because i'm about to blacken your other eye...

One Last Thing...

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:44:34 GMT

my sister always told me not to post these things online... but i don't really care right now

I always stay stagnant in the same little cage
Knowing whats best, just an act on this stage
You can't blame me for the sorrows and tears
The girl who is hurting meets the boy with no cares.

I'm Waiting Just Waiting
To Wake Up This Numb
Better then no one
as far as I've come
This shell is just breaking
crashing on rocks
Working off nothing
but phone calls and talks
bare with my friends
as much as I've got
if there is one thing
and only one thing you taught
Move on and wake up
as soon as you can
but sleeping is still
My alternate plan

All the broken promises and plans
Testing water but sinking hands
I cry on the inside the tears building up
sinking sinking over flowing the cup

A joke in an act
and an act on my life
I want to break out, not break down and cry
Ill cry you a lie, with my song and a tear
It builds up consistent never leaking a fear

You cant blame me I'm the girl with the boy
rolling the dice, in this game you enjoy
last laughs are for losers and i finally won
ill collect all my dues its a hit and a run

After...

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:41:58 GMT

watching home movies for a few hours with jeanette, michelle, frankie, and Mary and i am not sure whether or not i should curse or thank my father for making me who i am today... creativity and all. I mean I've been doing this home movie/music video thing since I was a baby... and I don't know too many others that have home movies of dance routines in their parents bedroom, or plays in the garage with their older sister, or even better Indiana Jones re enactments in the empty lot across the street from their house...

so yeah... thanks?

www.madk.tk

and it woldn't be a birthday without it...

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:16:20 GMT

ah so to think a birthday could go well in the aguilar house hold ha! Father flipped out again. We were all playing GH in frankies room when I started bleeding and got it all over frankies pillow. I didn't want him to know so I sent mary out of the room with the pillow until we could take care of it. Frankie saw her leave with it, jumped over all of us and ran into the hall smacking mary in the head.... making her cry.... waking my dad up... making him yell.... make the worlds slip from my mouth...
" oh yes father, this is why we all love you "

:/

i shot it in the chest and in the head

If only you would listen

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 04:20:02 GMT

tomorrow is her birthday. She has been home for less than 24 hours and I already feel the hostility. It's not our fault we don't like her. She ruins everything... what do you expect from us? We care too much to let it ruin your day.

enough is enough. I became an over cast kid today and threw away more money I really don't have. i can hear guitar hero in the room next to me. I'm getting anxious maybe I should get up and play.

i will be 21 soon. not soon enough...

being without myspace or aim is a blessing at the moment. life is actually more peaceful and i get much more done. like reading chuck palahniuk books.

I'm new the this whole live journal thing. my page isn't pretty yet and i really don't get how to do it. I am so used to myspace layout... i guess this will just take some time.

i had a really odd dream last night. we met. we actually hit it off really well. and again thats why it's a dream.

bacon cheese burgers on french roles tonight... i find it funny how i can hear everything. mother is in the backyard talking to my aunt about "things", my window is wide open i might as well join in on the conversation.... don't worry mom... no one likes her. NO ONE... you should have punched her when you had the chance.

ok thats it for now... miss you friends... all of you
xoxo
- me